I was born and raised in Council Bluffs. My parents divorced when I was young. My mom remarried shortly after and he adopted me. We were very active in a Baptist Church. I was sexually abused by my adopted father. He was arrested and sent to prison. I suffered a lot of trauma, and spent a lot of time with my grandparents. During my teen years I was very rebellious. I dropped out of school, ran away, and lived with my boyfriend in a hotel. I was pregnant at 16, and miscarried. Then I started doing drugs. At first it was weed and then a meth addiction. I was living life in the fast lane until I became pregnant again. It all came to a dead halt!
Shawn was born healthy in 1998. He was my pride and joy! My intentions to be a good mother didn’t happen. I sold drugs and became addicted not just to meth but to the lifestyle and the power that dealing held. My house was raided and I was taken to jail. My son was placed with child protective services, and my grandpa was granted temporary custody. I spent the weekend in jail and vowed to change my life. One night I read my Bible and cried out to God! I begged for forgiveness. I wanted to be a good mom, and get clean, but I was weak and failed.
I was arrested again and taken to the Polk County Jail. I was a mess! I was facing 15 to life. I had failed my son, my family, myself and God! I called grandpa to apologize. I said I’d be gone for a while and asked if he would take care of Shawn. He said, “As long as the good Lord wills”. Those were the last words I’d hear him say. He had a heart attack two weeks later and was on life support. Chaplain Jerry gave me the bad news. I was in shock and afraid for my son. Where would he go? Grandpa had become his safe place. I was terrified, devastated and desperate. I hit my knees and surrendered to Jesus. I repented and begged Him to take care of Shawn.
Jesus met me in that jail cell! He filled me with peace that surpassed all of my understanding. Somehow I knew it would be okay. It was no longer my life, it was His. My new life had begun! God gave me hope. I watched Sunday sermons on the day room TV and attended Bible studies with Miss Terrie Bishop. She became a very dear friend and mentor to me for twenty years. She visited me in prison. God’s love shines through her!
The Polk County Jail is where my journey began with God for 18 months. I was sentenced to 10 years in an Illinois prison. I got baptized, God restored a broken relationship with my mother, and my sister retained guardianship of Shawn. I was granted a transfer to Waseca, MN. I learned all sorts of skills and served on the praise and worship team. I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and God called me into ministry to lead worship in our chapel. I witnessed miracles. Many women gave their lives to Christ and found hope. I witnessed God’s power! It was bittersweet when my time came to an end in Waseca, and I prepared to return to society.
I will tell you this has been a journey and still is. I was reunited with Shawn and granted full custody of him. He came home with me at the age of 16. Only God could do that! God has given me a husband and two more beautiful children who are the loves of my life. I pray that my testimony will bring hope to those who are lost and have no hope. With God all things are possible. He will meet you in your mess! All you have to do is ask forgiveness and surrender your heart to Him. He will make your path straight.
God bless you!