Carlos wrote that he had come from Mexico legally with a work visa and had met his wife while working here. He had received Jesus as his Lord and Savior but he was not attending church on a regular basis. Soon he began to drink and had problems with his wife. Then he got an OWI and came to Polk County Jail where I met him about three years ago. Carlos recommitted himself to following Jesus, but never followed through on getting into a church. He came to Jail again and this time with a domestic violence change.

As we were going through John 5 in our recent Bible study Jesus tells the paralytic man, “Now see you have been made well. Sin no more, lest something worse happens to you.” He suddenly said with tears in his eyes, “That is me. The last time I was here, I told God that I would return to Him and go to church. I never did.” He told the men that he wanted them to learn from his experience and that God is not mocked.

Carlos is now being deported and rightfully so. Even though he is leaving his family and home here, he knows that God is righteous and merciful. Although he is forgiven, Carlos has to face the consequences for his actions. He said, “I want to return to the Lord, commit to following Him, and live my life in a way that will bring Him glory.”

“Trust God.” Those are the two words I remembered my dad had spoken to me after he died. At the time of writing this letter 12 years have gone by since the day my father passed away, and something changed within me. I remember asking “how” when he told me to trust God. He simply repeated “trust God.” Those two words have taken on such a deeper meaning to me as I continue on this journey of life – not only together but individually.

Over the years I’ve come to believe everything happens for a reason from the places we go to the people we meet. When my dad was alive he would share wisdom with me from time to time, and one of the things he said was “hindsight is 20/20”. The way I’ve always understood that was while we’re in the moment, it can be difficult to understand why we are where we are, or why we feel how we feel. After something has occurred and we think back upon it with a clear mind, we can make sense of it. We can see how it fits into the grand scheme or bigger picture in our life.

I was in the Polk County Jail when I started to realize there was a good possibility I would be sent to prison. This realization scared me, and I asked Chaplain Jerry for a Bible. I didn’t know at the time I was on the cusp of the most spiritual divine intervention ever. I remember being in and out of jail relapsing on drugs. Every time they gave me a chance to figure this out until eventually the judge threw the book at me. At the time I was in denial, but the law and the Lord both knew I was guilty as charged. The time spent away from my loved ones was the most difficult part of prison. I finally got some sobriety time accumulated and regained my sanity. I began reading the Bible and writing in a journal every morning. I memorized verses I liked and gave nicknames to help me remember them. I even started collecting different translations of the Bible and comparing them. It was fun. Some of the guys in the yard knew more about God than me. Some rejected God, but we all co-existed. The big Homie didn’t like when I would rush through my workouts on Sundays so I could attend church, but he still showed me love. I prayed in the mornings and realized how grateful I was for all I had; shelter, food, friends, family, and freedom from addiction.

I finally started realizing how so many of the things I value in life are completely dependent upon my sobriety like real meaningful relationships, true happiness, and freedom in all its forms. Everything and everyone I’ve ever loved were centered upon my sobriety. It’s something that I’ve always wanted and understood deep down in my heart, but no matter how badly I wanted to be sober and stay that way, I couldn’t. I finally found Someone who can. To whoever might read this I’d like to encourage you to persevere, have faith that a life you might not be able to imagine is about to begin for you, and hold strong to what you value the most. Forgive yourself, respect others, and give thanks. Trust God.

I was born in Eldora, IA on 03/04/78. My parents were still children themselves as my mother was 17 and my father was 18. My Grandma and Dad’s side of the family were raised Catholic, and I ended up at the Catholic Church too. My mother was a Methodist. From a young age I knew of Jesus and prayed a silly prayer my parents taught me every night. My father was my best friend from the day I was born and still is to this day. Even as a child I was proud of my father for putting food on the table and doing ok for us. He was and still is an addict but he found a way to make it work better than it could have been. Along with his addictions came drama, and tragedy after tragedy of almost killing himself. More than once he rolled his service truck and escaped death each time.

One day I was playing in the yard when a man came to the door and told us he would like my sister and me to give the Lutheran Church a try. I ended up getting baptized and confirmed Lutheran, but let’s be honest I was more interested in girls, drinking and such. It wasn’t long after that when I started getting in trouble stealing cigarettes. I fell in love very fast with all the things that kill your soul. I felt like when the devil chose me he was happy. It seems Satan has been trying to whoop me my whole life. Don’t think I’m blaming him. I very much know I’m my biggest problem. My whole life it seems I’ve been trying to win a battle that can’t be won, and that’s not even the worst of it. Who cares about me? All of the sudden now I’m bringing everybody else down also. They all get hurt. I’ve always had a problem with instant gratification. I want the pain to be gone right now too.

Due to my struggles with meth addiction I spent 5 times in the Jail, and a lot of time in prison. I met Chaplain Jerry at the Polk Co. Jail. On 11/21/23 I gave my heart to Jesus! My life has taken a turn for the better. I completed prison, am off parole, and living a life free from meth. Now the Holy Spirit lives within me. I’m getting baptized Aug. 11th and married Sept. 7th.

Really I think I’m just trying to do the next right thing. I’m a very slow learner it seems. I have one more positive thing to say. Today as I sit here writing this I’m more sure that Jesus is who He says He is than ever. He’s helping so many people.

I grew up in a home filled with love, stability, and a strong sense of religion. From the age of six sports like softball, basketball, and track became a significant part of my life. My dedication and talent in softball led me to earn a college scholarship to play. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that at the age of 24 I would find myself addicted to methamphetamine. Looking back I realize now that I was chasing the highs I experienced during my softball career. Unfortunately this led me down a dark path. I lost my two children, my marriage, my home, and inflicted immense pain on the people I loved most.

The guilt and shame I felt drove me to use more drugs as a form of self medication. Throughout this period my family never gave up on me, and they continued to pray fervently for my recovery. One night at around 1a.m. my grandma prayed to God to get me off the streets. Within an hour I was pulled over and arrested for the first time. Although I was released on pretrial this time, I found myself arrested two more times along with multiple failed inpatient treatments. Despite these setbacks my family never stopped praying for me.

On my final arrest I met Chaplain Jerry. It was through our conversations and the church services led by him that he opened my heart to God. It had been closed off for so long. Upon my release I began attending church with my family. It was during one of these services that I went forward to the altar, and received the Holy Spirit. With God beside me and the Holy Spirit within me, my life began to change in ways I never thought possible.

Today I have two successful jobs, I am living with my children, and I am on the verge of getting my driver’s license back. None of this would have been possible without God’s grace and the unwavering prayers of my family. I am a living testimony that no matter how far one has fallen, God’s love and redemption are always within reach. My life has been transformed, and I am eternally grateful for the second chance I have been given. Ephesians 1:7 states In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.

Don’t talk. Don’t trust. Don’t feel. This was definitely the way it was in our home. I was born in 1975. Growing up it was myself, the baby, two older sisters, Mom and Dad until our father was killed on 12/12/80. That’s when the cycle began. Mom turned to drinking so to work she went, and then off to her next job the seat at the bar. We kids were either with sitters, or on our own until we were introduced to her new boyfriend (the Monster). She married him when I was 8 years young. The cycle of abuse was unreal. When Mom was home we were told to be good, pray, eat, etc. Mom worked and he didn’t. When she left he began the torture, molesting, beatings, made me smoke marijuana, drink beer, and do some cocaine a few times. My sisters were far too smart. They knew how to go to friend’s homes and stay away. He was a serpent, a spawn of Satan who was tattooed with 666 all over his body, and a controlling psycho! I was told I would die if I told anyone what he did to me, and I believed him.

Later on I was married for 10 years. When our son passed it caused me a whole life of lying, conning, drugs, divorce, alcohol, being jobless, homeless, lost, in and out of prison for 18 years. My Mom died in May, my aunt died in June, and my best friend and sister Kathy died in September ’23. I believed God was really evil to me. I was arrested again on 10/05/23. Eleven days later at 10:43 AM it was my goal to become a coward and look for the easiest way out of Jail. It was my best solution to tie a sheet around my neck, jump off the top tier, and into hell. Only moments later the Holy Spirit showed up and in walked my new found friend through Christ, Chaplain Jerry. I will never forget that day in North 3 at the Polk County Jail for the rest of my time on this earth and in the new life to come! Tears were rolling down my face when Jerry sat with me, led me to Jesus, and I began a new life at that moment.

When a person is lost and so out of this world it’s hard to explain the blessing of being saved. If you are not, give it a try. It’s an amazing thing. It is most definitely a miracle. I went from defying any belief that God was even remotely a thought in my head. Now my Drivers License has been issued by the Holy Trinity – God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. It’s the greatest gift ever! Walk it. Talk it. Believe it, and do not ever deceive it. He gave His only Son for our lives. If anyone does not know how AMAZING that is, come see me. I’ll walk beside and help guide you through to the one and only Jesus Christ!

I was raised in dysfunction. Abuse was what I knew, saw, and was subjected to from a young age. I ran away from home at 11, was addicted to drugs at 13, became a mom at 14, and emancipated at 15. My childhood was stripped away, and the void was a gaping wound. I had a loving mother and was guided to God by my great grandmother. Despite that I was lost. I tried to make it, but the addiction was too great.

When my child died at the age of 15, I didn’t know how to manage another deep wound. I abandoned my family and went to the depth of heavy drugs to mask all the pain. I lost my three other children, and began making meth to survive. My mom prayed for a change in my life and God answered. I was picked up and charged with 25 years in federal prison. For two years I sat angry and depressed in my cell, and medications did not work.

I knew the only way I could get through this was to get back to Christ. I finally took myself to the chapel and gave my life over to Christ. I was faithful to read, study, and build a relationship with God to become who I needed to be. With God’s favor, after 13.5 years I was released. I maintained sobriety, drug free living, and a life with Jesus for two years. I began making poor choices and decisions that were destructive, lost my way, and took drugs once again. I stopped checking in with my Parole Officer and was on the run. God stepped in again. I got pulled over and was in jail for four months, and four more months in prison followed. I knew I had to get it right this time. I quickly dug into the resources of Chaplain Jerry, volunteers, Bible classes, and in the Word to find myself in Christ again. I was eventually released and am now focused on building my solid foundation in Jesus.

I am working while seeking direction on how I can continue to encourage others in Christ. I want to share my testimony on how God has been faithful and working all things out for my good and His glory.