Don’t talk. Don’t trust. Don’t feel. This was definitely the way it was in our home. I was born in 1975. Growing up it was myself, the baby, two older sisters, Mom and Dad until our father was killed on 12/12/80. That’s when the cycle began. Mom turned to drinking so to work she went, and then off to her next job the seat at the bar. We kids were either with sitters, or on our own until we were introduced to her new boyfriend (the Monster). She married him when I was 8 years young. The cycle of abuse was unreal. When Mom was home we were told to be good, pray, eat, etc. Mom worked and he didn’t. When she left he began the torture, molesting, beatings, made me smoke marijuana, drink beer, and do some cocaine a few times. My sisters were far too smart. They knew how to go to friend’s homes and stay away. He was a serpent, a spawn of Satan who was tattooed with 666 all over his body, and a controlling psycho! I was told I would die if I told anyone what he did to me, and I believed him.

Later on I was married for 10 years. When our son passed it caused me a whole life of lying, conning, drugs, divorce, alcohol, being jobless, homeless, lost, in and out of prison for 18 years. My Mom died in May, my aunt died in June, and my best friend and sister Kathy died in September ’23. I believed God was really evil to me. I was arrested again on 10/05/23. Eleven days later at 10:43 AM it was my goal to become a coward and look for the easiest way out of Jail. It was my best solution to tie a sheet around my neck, jump off the top tier, and into hell. Only moments later the Holy Spirit showed up and in walked my new found friend through Christ, Chaplain Jerry. I will never forget that day in North 3 at the Polk County Jail for the rest of my time on this earth and in the new life to come! Tears were rolling down my face when Jerry sat with me, led me to Jesus, and I began a new life at that moment.

When a person is lost and so out of this world it’s hard to explain the blessing of being saved. If you are not, give it a try. It’s an amazing thing. It is most definitely a miracle. I went from defying any belief that God was even remotely a thought in my head. Now my Drivers License has been issued by the Holy Trinity – God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. It’s the greatest gift ever! Walk it. Talk it. Believe it, and do not ever deceive it. He gave His only Son for our lives. If anyone does not know how AMAZING that is, come see me. I’ll walk beside and help guide you through to the one and only Jesus Christ!

I was raised in dysfunction. Abuse was what I knew, saw, and was subjected to from a young age. I ran away from home at 11, was addicted to drugs at 13, became a mom at 14, and emancipated at 15. My childhood was stripped away, and the void was a gaping wound. I had a loving mother and was guided to God by my great grandmother. Despite that I was lost. I tried to make it, but the addiction was too great.

When my child died at the age of 15, I didn’t know how to manage another deep wound. I abandoned my family and went to the depth of heavy drugs to mask all the pain. I lost my three other children, and began making meth to survive. My mom prayed for a change in my life and God answered. I was picked up and charged with 25 years in federal prison. For two years I sat angry and depressed in my cell, and medications did not work.

I knew the only way I could get through this was to get back to Christ. I finally took myself to the chapel and gave my life over to Christ. I was faithful to read, study, and build a relationship with God to become who I needed to be. With God’s favor, after 13.5 years I was released. I maintained sobriety, drug free living, and a life with Jesus for two years. I began making poor choices and decisions that were destructive, lost my way, and took drugs once again. I stopped checking in with my Parole Officer and was on the run. God stepped in again. I got pulled over and was in jail for four months, and four more months in prison followed. I knew I had to get it right this time. I quickly dug into the resources of Chaplain Jerry, volunteers, Bible classes, and in the Word to find myself in Christ again. I was eventually released and am now focused on building my solid foundation in Jesus.

I am working while seeking direction on how I can continue to encourage others in Christ. I want to share my testimony on how God has been faithful and working all things out for my good and His glory.